What Is Deschooling? 30+ Ideas And Tips

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Have you ever felt like traditional schooling just squeezes the joy right out of learning? I’ve been there.

Maybe you’re craving a slower, more natural way to learn together at home… which makes total sense if you’re already doing that in other parts of your life (like growing your own food or dabbling with herbalism).

That’s where deschooling comes in. It’s a chance to pause, reset, and remember what learning really looks like when it isn’t boxed in by schedules and standards.

In this post, I’ll share what deschooling is all about and how it can completely transform your homeschool journey.

Table of Contents

What is Deschooling?

Think of deschooling as pressing the reset button on how we think about education. It’s a period where you and your child step away from traditional school ideas, like sitting at a desk, following a strict schedule, or the mindset that learning only happens between 8 and 3.

Instead, you start to see that learning is everywhere! It’s in the kitchen, the backyard, even during a lazy Sunday afternoon in your pajamas.

During deschooling, you let go of mindsets like:

Learning only happens in a school setting.
Kids must learn specific topics at specific ages.
Tests are the best measure of success.

And you begin to adopt new ideas, such as:

Learning happens everywhere, all the time. My daughters both enjoy learning about fractions while baking muffins.
Kids have their own unique timelines. O didn’t read until she was 8-9 years old, but once she began, it wasn’t long before she was reading at grade level.
Success isn’t just about tests. It’s about seeing your child excited to tell you a story they just wrote or figuring out how to build something from scratch.

Deschooling is not just a one-time thing. It’s an ongoing mindset shift. There will be days when you’re confident in your homeschooling or unschooling approach. And there will be other days when that “school” mindset creeps back in, and you’ll need to do more deschooling!

How to Deschool

Deschooling is often easier for kids than for parents. For kids, it’s all about following their interests and having fun.

At first, it might look like sitting around playing video games all day. But as kids recover from the stress of forced education — and learn how to follow their own desires rather than adult directions — they’ll start exploring more diverse activities. Trust me, they’ll do more than just play video games all day!

For parents, deschooling can be tough. If you were a public school kid like I was, you probably have a lot of school-based mindsets to unlearn. Here are some common fears and beliefs you might need to address during your deschooling:

“Learning requires 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 180 days a year.”
Learning doesn’t need to happen on a strict schedule. Kids learn all the time—through play, exploring, talking, and just living their lives. It’s more natural and often more fun this way. The traditional school schedule has more to do with parents’ work schedules than anything else.
“If you don’t force learning, they’ll never learn anything.”
Kids are naturally curious and want to learn about the world. When they follow their interests, they dive deep and learn better than when they’re forced to study something they don’t care about. I have seen this firsthand with O’s interest in dog training and Q’s interest in art.
“Kids won’t have any social skills without being in a classroom.”
Social skills don’t just come from being in a classroom. Kids can learn how to interact with others by playing with friends, joining clubs, doing sports, and just being part of the community. My experience has been that homeschooled kids actually have better social skills than the average public-schooled child.
“Children need constant supervision to learn effectively.”
Kids can learn on their own when they’re given the freedom to explore. They often come up with creative ideas and solutions when they’re trusted to follow their interests. They can be more innovative than adults most of the time!
“Grades are the only way to measure progress.”
Grades don’t always show what a child really knows or can do. Learning can be measured by how well kids use what they’ve learned in real life, how they grow, and what they achieve in their own way. Grades can sometimes be a barrier to real learning when kids get obsessed with getting A’s rather than focusing on getting a true grasp of the concept.

Take some time to think through your fears and assumptions about public school vs homeschooling and unschooling. Journaling may help uncover these beliefs so you can change them!

What Deschooling Looked Like for Us

When we first started homeschooling, O didn’t need any deschooling because she had only known natural learning. But after both of my kids spent some time in public school, we had to go through deschooling when we came back to homeschooling.

Honestly, it was tough at first. Both of my girls spent a lot of time on screens, mostly playing Minecraft. I was worried. I thought that if I didn’t make them do something more like school, I’d be failing them. I was scared they would fall “behind” and never catch up. But then I learned a few important things:

Being behind isn’t real. There’s no rule that says a 1st grader has to read at a certain level or that a 2nd grader has to know addition up to a certain number. These standards are set up to make things easier for teachers, not because they’re best for kids.
Waiting can be better. It’s often more helpful to wait until a child is ready to learn something than to push them to learn it too early.
Kids can always catch up. When children are ready to learn, they often pick up new skills quickly. Older kids can learn even faster because they understand more about the world.

During the time my kids were really into Minecraft, their language skills grew a lot. My 9-year-old figured out that reading and writing made playing Minecraft much easier, so she started doing it more. My 6-year-old went from just starting to read to reading on her own confidently.

By trusting the process and giving them space, I saw my kids learn in ways that were right for them.

Deschooling vs. Unschooling

Deschooling is the preparation you do before diving into unschooling. Without a deschooling period, it’s tough not to bring traditional school mindsets into unschooling and natural learning. From the outside, deschooling might look like unschooling because kids follow their interests, play, and reclaim their natural love of learning.

However, some families use deschooling as a transitional phase before they begin homeschooling with a mix of curriculum and natural learning.

So, while deschooling and unschooling aren’t the same, deschooling is a vital step toward embracing unschooling.

How Long Does Deschooling Take?

A good rule of thumb is to deschool for about one month for every year your child spends in traditional school.

But remember, every family is different. In our case, we needed more time, and that’s okay!

Deschooling Ideas

By now, you’re likely on board with the concept of stepping away from formal academics to help your child reconnect with their interests. But what should you do all day while deschooling? Here are some fun and educational ideas:

Have a pajama day and binge-watch your favorite movies.
Set up a cozy reading nook and spend the day reading.
Enjoy a family picnic in a park or backyard.
Try a yoga or meditation class or video together.
Start a list of your favorite relaxation activities (and don’t judge!).
Go on nature walks or hikes in nearby parks.
Create a backyard garden or start a small indoor herb garden.
Start a birdwatching journal.
Create a “sit spot” and note how the environment changes day after day (or week!)
Make art using natural materials like leaves, flowers, and stones.
Make a vision board or bucket list and decorate creatively.
Try a new craft, such as knitting, pottery, or woodworking.
Spend a day painting or drawing outside.
Cook a meal together from scratch using a new recipe.
Learn basic sewing skills and create simple projects.
Teach them how to do laundry or other household chores.
Visit local museums or historical sites.
Take a spontaneous day trip to a nearby town or city.
Go to seasonal activities like apple picking, community harvest festivals, etc.
Plan a camping trip in the backyard or at a campground.
Play board games or card games as a family (everyone gets to pick their favorite game!).
Set up a puzzle station and work on a large jigsaw puzzle over several days.
Host a game night with friends and family.
Start a family story journal where everyone contributes.
Write a letter to a friend or family member.
Create a comic book or graphic novel.
Conduct simple science experiments at home (e.g., baking soda volcano).
Visit a local science center or planetarium.
Build a model or diorama of a favorite ecosystem or planet.
Take up a new sport or physical activity (e.g., yoga, skateboarding, swimming).
Set up an obstacle course in the backyard.
Go for regular bike rides or walks in your neighborhood.
Volunteer at a local animal shelter or community garden.
Host a potluck or game night with friends and neighbors.
Join a local class or workshop on a topic of interest.

Final Thoughts

When we first started deschooling, I was stressed! Even though it felt like the right thing to do, I still had fears.

But I quickly saw how much happier my kids were and how much more they were able to learn when I let go of control and trusted the process!

Deschooling helps you see that learning happens everywhere, every day. You might be surprised ( like I was!) at how much more your kids absorb when they’re learning through activities they love. So, take a deep breath, trust the process, and enjoy the journey of learning together!