12 Tips On How To Start Unschooling

This page may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more here.

If you’re curious about unschooling but don’t know where to start, I completely understand. It can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, especially if all you’ve ever known is traditional schooling.

I felt that way at first, too. But let me tell you—it’s a journey worth taking!

For a lot of homesteaders, homeschooling feels like a natural extension of the self-reliant lifestyle—right alongside growing food, making herbal remedies, and living more intentionally.

But in my experience, unschooling takes it even deeper. It’s about trusting the same natural rhythms and processes we already see in the garden and the land.

Even if you’re not a full-on radical unschooler and you prefer a bit more structure, bringing more natural learning into your days is such a gift.

Unschooling is about trusting the natural learning process, and it’s a lot simpler (and more rewarding) than you might think. So let’s dive in together!

What is Unschooling?

Unschooling is all about letting go of traditional ideas about what learning looks like. Instead of following a set curriculum or using structured lessons, unschooling allows your child to learn in a way that’s natural for them. It’s about fostering curiosity and exploration, rather than imposing subjects or schedules.

Think about how children learn before they ever enter a classroom. Babies and toddlers learn to talk, walk and so many other things just by observing and interacting with the world around them.

They don’t need flashcards to start talking or formal lessons to figure out how to walk. They’re driven by curiosity and a desire to understand their surroundings. Unschooling builds on that natural drive.

This doesn’t mean you’re hands-off or uninvolved. It means that instead of leading your child’s learning, you’re there to support and encourage it. Your role is to provide a rich environment, opportunities for exploration, and, most importantly, to be their guide and partner in learning.

Benefits of Unschooling

The benefits of unschooling are endless, and they may surprise you! Here are just a few that I’ve experienced firsthand:

A Love of Learning: Traditional schooling can sometimes dampen a child’s enthusiasm for learning by turning it into something that has to be done, rather than something they want to do. Unschooling keeps that natural love of learning alive because kids are following their interests. As a public school kid, I thought it was just expected that kids didn’t like learning. But now I see my own kids thriving and enjoying their education way more than most kids I grew up with!
Deep Connections: Unschooling allows you to spend more time with your child, and you’ll get to know them on a deeper level. You’ll witness their passions unfold and be there to share in the excitement. I always tell people, I’m glad to have the problem of seeing my kids too much over not seeing them enough!
Flexible Learning: No more rigid schedules or battling over homework. Unschooling fits into your life. Learning happens organically, whether it’s during a family hike, while playing a game, or reading together before bed. There’s much less frustration when you don’t live according to outside schedules, too. Yes, sometimes we need to be somewhere at a specific time (like soccer practice), but we can take our time and work with our energy levels most of the time.
Confidence: Both you and your child will gain confidence. Your child will trust their ability to learn and your ability to guide. You’ll trust in your role as their guide and supporter, and that tehy can learn anything they want to learn. So much support and love in an unschooling relationship!
Customized Learning: Every child is unique, and unschooling respects that. You can tailor their learning environment and experiences to fit their individual needs, interests, and pace. For example, my oldest is a night owl and does a lot of her exploration when I’m asleep. I can’t imagine trying to force her to be alert at 8am!

How to Start Unschooling

Now that you know what unschooling is and why it’s so powerful, you’re probably wondering how to get started. It might feel overwhelming, but I promise—it’s all about taking it one step at a time.

Here’s a roadmap to help you ease into unschooling with confidence.

Familiarize Yourself with Homeschool Laws

Before you begin, it’s important to understand the homeschool laws in your state or country. Every state has different requirements, and some might require you to file paperwork, keep certain records, or even report on your child’s progress. It’s a good idea to spend some time reading up on the laws specific to your area so that you feel confident you’re in compliance.

A word of caution: Sometimes school districts will ask for things you’re not legally required to provide. Knowing your rights can save you a lot of stress and keep things simple. There are plenty of resources and local homeschool groups that can help guide you through the legal stuff. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re unsure!

Deschooling is Key

Deschooling is one of the most important steps when transitioning from a traditional school environment to unschooling. It’s a period of adjustment where you and your child step away from formal lessons and give yourselves time to relax, reconnect, and let go of old habits and expectations.

This step is crucial, especially if your child has been in a traditional school setting. They need time to unwind and rediscover their natural curiosity. It’s also a time for you to let go of the idea that learning only happens in a classroom.

Deschooling looks different for everyone, and there’s no set amount of time it takes. Some families deschool for a few months, while others take a year or more. The goal is to create space for a new, more natural rhythm to emerge, one that’s centered on your child’s interests rather than a rigid curriculum.

During this period, try to avoid formal learning activities and instead focus on play, exploration, and building your relationship with your child. You’ll be amazed at how much learning happens when you step back and give them room to explore on their own.

Our Deschooling included a lot of homesteading activities. We were already doing things like planting the garden, feeding and caring for ducks and chickens, and making healthy and delicious food at home. There’s so much learning happening in those activities, but none of it feels forced!

Gain Confidence

It’s totally normal to feel a little insecure at the start, especially if you’re used to thinking of education in a traditional sense.

One of the biggest hurdles many of us face when starting unschooling is feeling like we’re not “qualified” to teach our kids. But here’s the truth: You don’t need to be a certified teacher to homeschool or unschool. You are already the best teacher your child could ever have because you know them better than anyone else.

You don’t have to know all the answers or be an expert in every subject. Learning alongside your child is part of the beauty of unschooling. It’s okay not to have a perfect plan. The more you trust in your ability to guide and support your child’s learning, the more confident you’ll feel.

Observe First

One of the most important things you can do when you first start unschooling is to spend time observing your child. I often compare this to the permaculture principle of observation.

As a certified permaculture designer, I know that the first step in any sustainable design is to observe the environment—to watch how the land interacts with the sun, water, and wind before making any changes. The same goes for unschooling.

Spend time simply watching your child. What are they naturally drawn to? What lights them up? When do they have the most energy for exploration? By observing without judgment, you’ll start to see patterns and get a sense of how they learn best.

This observation period will help guide you as you create a learning environment that supports their interests and learning style.

Connect with Your Child

The foundation of unschooling is a strong, trusting relationship with your child. When your child feels connected to you, they’re more likely to trust that you have their best interests at heart and that you’re there to support them, not control them.

Your role in unschooling isn’t to be the teacher, but rather the partner in their learning. Listen to them, engage with them, and be present.

When you show that you value their interests and ideas, you build a relationship based on trust and mutual respect. This connection is what will allow learning to flourish naturally.

It can be hard to do this when their interests are video games or TV shows. But I promise if you give them the space to enjoy those things without judgment, they will find balance.

Create a Learning Environment That Fosters Exploration and Curiosity

Your home can be a rich learning environment without needing to be filled with expensive materials or perfectly organized spaces (mine sure isn’t!). The key is to create spaces that encourage curiosity and invite exploration.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Discovery Station: A place with tools like binoculars, a microscope, or a magnifying glass for hands-on exploration. Even a simple magnifying glass can turn an ordinary walk into a discovery-filled adventure.
Art Station: Keep a supply of art materials like drawing utensils, glue, stickers, and paper. Let your child express their creativity through drawing, painting, or crafting.
Book Nook: Create a cozy spot with books, magazines, and journals. Reading together is a wonderful way to encourage learning and spark curiosity.
Pretend Play Area: Even older kids enjoy pretending. Set up an area with costumes, play food, or dolls to encourage imaginative play. This is especially great for younger children.
Building Zone: Stock it with building blocks, Legos, or K’NEX. Building and constructing are great ways for kids to develop problem-solving skills and creativity.
Activity Shelves: Montessori-style shelves with games, puzzles, or activity boxes can encourage independent learning and exploration.

The goal is to make learning feel like a natural part of everyday life, rather than something that’s confined to a specific time or place.

Notice Hidden Learning

Once you begin unschooling, you’ll quickly realize that learning is happening all the time. It’s in the conversations you have over breakfast, the games your child plays, and the books you read together.

Sometimes, the most profound learning experiences happen when you least expect them. It could be a question that comes up while you’re cooking dinner, or a discovery made during a walk in the park. Be open to seeing these moments for what they are—opportunities for learning that don’t need to be forced or structured.

One more tip: When you notice those moments, don’t call them out as learning! It can reinforce the avoidance some kids have toward “learning”.

Instead, just notice those moments for yourself (and your record-keeping) and let your kids come to their own conclusions.

After our year in public school, both of my kids were very averse to “learning,” but after deschooling, I noticed them pointing out the learning they were finding. It’s amazing what some freedom can do!

Read Together

Reading is such a powerful tool for learning, and it’s one of the easiest ways to encourage your child’s curiosity. Spend time reading together, whether it’s you reading to them, them reading to you, or just sitting side by side with your own books.

Reading opens the door to so many interesting conversations and discoveries. You might find that one book sparks an interest in a new subject, leading you down a rabbit hole of exploration.

Play Together

Play isn’t just fun—it’s an incredible way to learn. Whether you’re playing board games, card games, video games, or engaging in imaginative play like dolls or playing restaurant, you’re not only learning about your child but learning together. Play fosters creativity, problem-solving, and cooperation—all vital life skills.

Playing together can also create special bonding moments and memories. It shows your child that you value spending time with them on their terms, doing things they love. This is key to deepening your connection and helping them feel safe to explore their interests.

Discuss Everything!

Unschooling families often have deep, meaningful conversations throughout the day. These talks can start from a book, a movie, a walk outside, or even a simple question.

This natural flow of conversation helps kids think deeply, share their ideas, and ask questions. My oldest, for example, loves talking nonstop about the dog training videos she watches. She’s even developed strong opinions about them and can explain why she feels that way!

You can encourage this too by starting open-ended conversations where your child leads the way. Ask them what they think, feel, or wonder about a topic. Share your thoughts, but make sure it’s a two-way conversation. You might be surprised by how much insight your child has when given the chance to speak freely.

Embrace Flexibility

Remember, unschooling is all about flexibility. There’s no rigid structure to follow—just follow your child’s curiosity and your intuition. Some days might be packed with activities, while others are quieter, spent reflecting or simply relaxing. Both are valuable.

Give yourself permission to pivot, change directions, or pause when needed. It’s all part of the process, and each family’s unschooling journey will look different.

And remember, your needs and boundaries matter too! That’s why unschooling is so great. When you are having a rough day, you can stay home and read, watch movies, or play outside instead of venturing into society. Everyone’s needs are considered for a happy family!

Trust the Process

Unschooling is a leap of faith, but trust is a key component. Trust your child to learn what they need when they need it. Trust yourself to provide the right environment and opportunities.

And trust the process—learning is happening all the time, even when it looks like they’re “just” playing or exploring. The benefits will reveal themselves over time, often in surprising ways.

How To Start Unschooling: Final Thoughts

Starting unschooling may feel overwhelming at first, especially if you’re used to traditional methods of education. But take heart—unschooling offers a world of possibilities.

By embracing your child’s natural curiosity, observing their unique needs, and fostering an environment of connection and trust, you’ll see that learning doesn’t have to be confined to textbooks and schedules. It’s woven into every moment of life, and the journey is as rich as the destination!

12 Tips on How To Start Unschooling